Intro

Okay first off, you don’t have to read this if you don’t want too. I will most probably bore you, but if I do then why are you on my personal website?

Also I might upload a few photos that have been took of me the last few weeks or so, and from Spring Harvest etc when I get back from my break. Some are pretty funny, classic Lee.

Christianity

I am going on a 5 day break at Butlins with my sister, her fiance and a cousin, there I will be meeting up with another cousin and hundreds (or thousands) of people who all have something in common. This is a massive Christian event called Spring Harvest where all these Christians meet up, have a great time and have fun, and talk to God.

Now I wouldn’t say I’m a dedicated Christian, I just haven’t been that person the last half a year or so, I’ve done things that I shouldn’t have done, but we’ve all done these things. I’m just figuring out who I really am, who I want to be and how I want to go about my life.

I went to a small Christian event on Easter Sunday with my sister and her fiance, and met up with a cousin and an auntie. It was a good night, it was a new experience for me. There was hundreds of the hardcore Christians there (And I mean hardcore) and we all had a good night, singing along to great music, listening to real life stories on how people have experienced God and there came to a point where we all said a prayer (This guy on the microphone on the stage told us to close our eyes), so my eyes where closed and this guy asked if they are going through a really hard time at the moment or need to experience Jesus then raise your hands now, so there I was with my eyes closed and I slowly raised my hand. I felt like I was the only one to do this, I just raised my hand slowly and kept my eyes closed for a further few minutes. I then stood up and my sisters fiance (I should give him a name, so Ric) stood up with me and gave me support, asking me if I wanted him to come with me to the front and get prayed for. I kept on standing, holding back the tears (this was so emotional for me at the time) and for a further few minutes, I stood there with Ric. I then looked back to see everyone else sat down around me, and Ric and I were the only ones standing (apart from the people getting prayed for at the front), so I walked down slowly and asked for someone to prayer for me and then there it was. Stood there for a few minutes, praying.

I didn’t ‘feel’ anything when I was getting prayed for but I felt I opened the doors for Jesus to contact me in some way, so maybe during Spring Harvest, I will have an experience.

Sexuality

This is where my quest comes in, I guess I didn’t mention my sexuality. I guess, the truth is, I’m really unsure about my sexuality, although I’ve come out as bi now to my family, and with a small group of friends I’ve come out as gay. Messed up? Yeah. I just want to be sure so I can label myself with something, whether it’s Gay, Bisexual or Straight, I’m just fed up with my family making jokes or not ‘approving’ of some things about Gay and Lesbian people, and it just does my head in because it doesn’t feel like I’ve ‘come out’ at all to them.

My Quest

So at Spring Harvest, I’m going to talk to several people about their views on Sexuality and I’m going to find out if it’s accepted By Christianity and God. I’m going to stay quiet about my sexuality there until I’m sure and certain it is accepted because I don’t want to meet people there and say ‘Oh and by the way, I’m unsure about my sexuality!’. All I need to know is if it’s accepted, if I can go to church as openly Bi or Gay and no one minding about it.

I also want to be able to be in contact with God somehow, and I am going to prayer by myself every so often during Spring Harvest. If I get anything, any sort of feel and I know that it’s God, I’ll be happy. If not then I guess I’m going to have to go to Church (I’m going to find a nice modern one that I feel comfortable in) and make a change of my life.

Me

I guess I’m same old Lee and always will be, nothing will be changed and I will never change because I don’t care about what anyone thinks. If someone in College or anywhere says something to me, or they don’t like me, then I don’t care, I’m not fussed with what anyone thinks.

I am me.